Just to clarify.....😳

***this ended up in the draft folder. I don’t even know if it posted or not. And it’s not that informative (on the treatment front), other than to clarify C isn’t being held captive. 😜 a couple people asked me about visiting like it was a hostage negotiation. 😂 I’ll make time to post an update in the next day or so.

Y’all are not witnessing some familial form of Stockholm syndrome. There isn't an “Ashley” mandate prohibiting visitors. Self confinement through the power of suggestion. Some sort of false imprisonment. Yes, I may be the gatekeeper, but it’s a mutual decision to keep visitors, and subsequently outside germs, at a safe distance. Lest anyone think I have such authority.🤣 I keep suggesting to C that everyone would appreciate his voice more often on the blog. Verification he is of sound mind. That his wife isn’t keeping him sequestered against his will. But come on, we all know he is somewhat reluctant to correspond on the best of days. 🙄 Before finding ourselves on this alternate route in life, C notoriously either leaves his phone on silent (best case, vibrate), or on a counter in the kitchen....whilst being somewhere other than home. We always find ourselves. No. Scratch that. “I“ always find myself needing one more item from the grocery run only to hear the buzz of his phone inching its way around the kitchen. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Circumstances notwithstanding, old habits die hard. I’m regularly calling or texting to check in if I leave the hospital - response - crickets. I look like the crazy ex-girlfriend, incessantly texting and calling. Logically, I know everything is fine. Everyone has my number. But I’m rushing back to the room with a knot in my throat only to find him working at his computer a mere 6-10 inches from the phone. “Ludes, I've called 4 times and texted even more.” 🏃‍♀️🥵 “Hhhhmmm. My phone must be on silent.” 🤷🏼‍♂️ I can’t tell you how many times this exact conversation has taken place over the years.

It‘s funny, the roles we adopt as couples. Not necessarily in the relationship between just two, but the roles as seen by others, or as “played“ with others. There’s usually a natural tendency toward good cop/bad cop, sinner/saint, party goer/party no-er. Not always to these extremes, of course. I’m definitely the “get us out of doing it” person. I’ve been inadvertently elected to find a way to decline on certain social obligations. I think I weave a tangled web a little better than Craig.🕸 By no means is this to to say you need to question the next time y’all ask us to come to your child’s goldfish funeral and C’s flight is delayed and won’t be home in time. Unforeseen circumstances and all. 😏

I also play the part of story editor. I nominated myself, much to Craig’s chagrin. No, really. I think he‘d like a mute button for my mouth. I can say this with confidence bc he routinely tells me, “I’m muting you” with an imaginary remote in his hand. With the best of intentions, I encourage him to relay a funny/informative/bizarre/scary/unlikely/anecdotal/etc. story or situation we have experienced. Usually by line 2, I’m already stepping in to provide a little more background or detail. Then I’ll promise that’s it - clarifying these were details not to be missed. He reluctantly starts again. 2 lines later....me again! 🙋‍♀️ Ugh. It’s annoying even to me. And so have gone his stories for the last almost 21 years. Man, clear case of “for better or worse”. 😬

Craig takes on the more subtle partner roles. When you’ve grown up in the town you live in, you invariably find yourself running into people from your past. We have a system to work out the potential recognition kinks. If I don’t immediately introduce Craig (or occasionally vice versa), he knows to step in with a seemingly organic self introduction. “Geez, Ash. Where are your manners? Hi, I’m Craig, and you are?”. Sure I look like I’m socially inept, but isn't it better than making someone feel forgettable? Guess the cats out of the bag on this one!!!

He also has the self-appointed role of host cleanup. Whether it’s after a sit down dinner, football watching snack gathering, or lazy summer pool days, he inevitably starts clean up at some point. Not take the dish right out of your hand thoroughness, but you know when he’s in the zone. 👀🧹🧼🧽 Does he know the fun will continue for hours and is getting ahead of the hangover cleaning, or is he not-so-subtly letting you know GAME OVER? 🤔🤔 You’ll know it’s the latter when he’s nowhere to be found. He’s mastered exiting stage left!

And so based on our past inclinations, it seems I will continue to update the blog more than he will. He will continue to have my back when your name is erased from my memory card. C continues to edge me out of pole position as the good cop in our daily/weekly/annually 😂, and that’s a-ok with me. We all have our roles to play! And I think we each play ours just fine. Seems to be working thus far. 😇😈👩‍❤️‍👨👫

Have a great Valentine‘s Day tomorrow. Or as C likes to call it, “another day for card companies to make money”. 🥰

Hope this finds you all well,

C & A